Two Turks On A Hellmouth
by c-wolf
Summary: Buffy Crossed over with Final Fantasy VII. Halloween just got a little weirder. No slash 2nd chapter is a late answer to the halloween challenge submitted on Twisting The Hellmouth. What did the characters who inhabited the costumes remember
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or Final Fantasy VII

(random thought running through my head. Side note: this will not be a slash pairing despite a canon character.)

Xander sighed as he slouched into the costume shop. Buffy and Willow were ahead of him, giggling and jabbering over some costumes.

He smiled. Not that he minded that. They needed more laughter.

He turned toward a different section from where they were heading. He needed to find something that made Snyder happy yet annoyed him too.

"Oh great. It's you." A familiar voice popped up.

Xander blinked and looked toward it. "Ah Larry." He said with a slight smile. "Looking through the bargain bins too?"

Larry growled and walked forward.

"Ah ah. No fighting outside school. Snyder's all we have to worry about there. The police on the other hand…." Xander paused. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Snyder."

"Ah."

"Excuse me?" A man's voice asked.

They both turned toward it.

"Great, another subject from the land of tweed." Xander groaned. "And it's Giles fault that I learned about Royal Subjects…"

The man grinned. "Would that be Rupert Giles?"

"Yes it is."

"Good. I might have to catch up with him at some point… my name's Ethan Rayne, owner of this shop." He reached out his hand.

Xander took it. "Xander Harris."

"Excuse me?" Larry asked.

They both turned to him. "You called, Larry?" Then they both blinked.

"A suit?"

Larry shrugged. "I didn't see much in my size except this… and maybe I'll turn it into some secret agent outfit or something."

Ethan smiled as he reached up to a shelf. "Actually, it's missing four things. Five if you count that it's paired with another set from the same series."

"Ok."

"Sunglasses, a collapsible police baton mock-up. Just for looks mind you. It'll break easily if you try to use it as a weapon. Shoes need to be black dress shoes, preferably looking like rockports. Then there are these." He said as he placed what looked to be dynamite sticks with plastique and a timer on top of the pile that he in turn put in Larry's arms.

Larry blinked.

"Now off you go." Ethan pushed him away. "And if I can, I want to hear all about it."

Larry walked away with a dazed look on his face

"Um… he forgot to pay."

Ethan shrugged. "I actually forgot I had those in stock. I'm afraid I can't repeat that mistake with you however."

Xander sighed. "Just my luck."

"Besides, considering your animosity to each other. I doubt he wanted to see who got the other part of the set."

Xander blinked. "Excuse me?"

(insert Divider Line)

"What's going on around here?" Reno asked with a confused look on his face as he blocked a slash from a miniature furry creature with claws and followed up with a hit from his baton to its head, knocking it out.

He put his baton to his shoulder and started walking in a random direction.

"Xander?" A voice asked.

Reno cocked his head to one side and turned around. "Finally someone I can understand…"

Then he paused. "Interesting outfit you have." Followed by a clinical once over.

"Xander!" The woman yelled and tried to slap him only to have her hand pass through his head.

Reno blinked. "Nice trick."

They both turned when they heard a scream.

"Buffy!" The woman yelled then turned toward Reno. "Xander we have to help her!"

Then she ran off in the direction of the scream, followed by a very confused person.

"Who is this Xander you keep calling me?" He yelled after her as he ran.

Rude stared around as he held a short pirate with a squawking flying animal on his shoulder at arms length with one hand, and some type of soldier in white armor at length in the other. A sword and some weapon that fired lasers were piled in front of them.

The soldier had resigned himself to standing there, but the pirate was attempting to bite a finger.

Then Rude heard a scream. He shoved the soldier and pirate into a wall knocking them unconscious, then picked up the gun and tucked it away. After which he took out his baton and started toward the sound.

As he did, a woman in some type of skimpy outfit ran past him followed by a complaining…

"RENO!"

The man in the suit slowed down. "Rude! You look different. Gotta go!" He yelled as he sped up again to catch up to Willow.

Rude started running after them. "What's going on?!"

"Ask her!"

Rude caught up to them as a lady in some type of dress started berating the red-head.

Reno looked around as they argued. "Don't we need to get indoors or something?" He asked.

Rude nodded, and walked over to Buffy. She stared up at him, then screamed as he slung her over his shoulder and looked toward Willow.

"Where to?"

Willow blinked for a second. "We're near her house." She said pointing at the still screaming Buffy. "It's as good a place as any."

"Right." Reno said and gestured for her to go ahead. "Lead the way."

(insert divider line)

Cordelia was not having a fun night.

First, Snyder put her in the same boat as Xander and his annoying friends.

Then, the shop somehow screwed up her reserved costume. So she wound up with a cheesy cat costume.

Finally, she was being chased Jo-Jo the dog-faced whatever it was.

Jo-Jo sped up and ran into her.

She screamed.

Then something slammed into Jo-Jo who rolled off her. As she gasped for breath, she tried to see who it was.

"Oh great… loser boy saved me. My bad day is complete." She moaned as Xander rolled around with a wide-eyed look on his face, while beating an, at that point, extremely confused monster about the head.

It had given up being hungry, and started getting scared as it tried to drag itself out from under the hyperactive man with a metal rod in order to run away and hide.

"Reno…" Rude said loudly. "I think you can stop now."

Cordelia blinked as Xander let Jo-Jo go and it ran off yipping.

"Ok." She said as she stood up. "When did you and Larry become friends?"

Rude blinked as he continued to hold a softly growling Buffy over his shoulder. "Huh?"

Willow sighed. "Everyone got turned into their costumes. Except you."

"Yep, my day's bottomed out…." Cordelia moaned.

Angel showed up at that point and almost got hit by a stone that she threw at him with a scream.

Reno shrugged and turned to Willow. "So, costumes?" He asked.

"Yes. My friend Xander dressed up as you."

Reno and Rude looked at each other then at her. One got a maniacal grin on his face and the other started to stare off in the distance.

"So where did we get our costumes from?"

"A place called Ethans. But we might need Giles for this."

Reno gestured in Angel's direction. "Give him the address. Get this Giles, and we'll meet you there?"

(insert divider Line)

Spike strode among the chaos with a grin on his face. "Now where is the slayer? Drew said she wasn't herself."

He reached out and grabbed a costumed kid and snarled at it. Pretty soon he had a small army.

"Well this is neat." He grinned as they started off to hunt.

A little later they stumbled across their target, in front of a costume shop.

"Well, hello Angel." Spike said.

"Spike." Angel growled as he, Giles, and the rest faced off against them.

Reno and Rude looked at each other. Then at Willow.

"This it?" They gestured.

She nodded.

They nodded back. "Try to move away from the shop and watch the fireworks." Reno said with a grin as he and Rude went inside.

Willow stared at their backs in shock. "What?" She yelled as Buffy whimpered behind Cordelia.

"Where did they go?" Giles asked.

Willow just pointed.

Angel and Giles turned back and stared.

Meanwhile, Ethan was having the time of his life with all the chaos he was sensing.

Until a voice spoke up.

"Hey Rude."

"Yeah Reno?"

Ethan turned around and saw the two teenagers he'd sold the suit to. Then he realized how stupid he'd been to give mock explosives to them.

"Just how flashy will these be?"

Angel and Giles had moved out to meet Spike and his crew even though they wished they hadn't.

Then the windows of Ethan's shop blew out followed by pieces of the roof, missing them by a few feet.

Spike blinked as Buffy took off her wig, and the kids started to cry. Then he ran away. A singed Xander and Larry staggered out of the shop, supporting a semi-conscious and slightly burned Ethan.

"Man what a blast." Xander said dazedly, while everyone groaned and Cordelia slapped him up side the head.

"What did I say?"

(got a little long winded for a one chapter Halloween story so shortened Spike's portion, but here it is. Sorry it's a little late. Did a little tweaking to Reno and Rude, but tried to keep to canon as well. They didn't do much in the movie other than comic relief, or combat from what I could tell. But, despite being bad guys in the game, they came through as heroes in the movie.)


	2. Awakenings

(Red XIII was one of the main characters from the game. It was his grandchild I think in the movie. Wikipedia has some info)

Reno yawned and stretched as he sat up. Then he paused.

"I was on the floor?"

He blinked as memories of a strange town, a redhead with a transparent hand, and a slightly changed Rude ran through his mind. Then he flipped open his phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hello."

"Rude."

"Reno?"

"Do you remember anything strange?"

"Hmm…"

"You too huh?"

"Among other things."

Reno nodded. "Yeah. But not just what happened."

"Vampires."

"Do you think we have them here?" Reno asked as he started to walk out of his living room.

"There are some Shinra records that are still accessible."

"Let's start there." Reno said. "If vampires and demons are here…"

"We can't let them exist."

"Red XIII might view us kindly. We can ask him too. He has lived for a while after all."

"Hmmm…"

Reno walked out of his house and started walking to Rude's house. "We'll check with The Boss once we have some information."

"Cloud."

"Yeah. Contact him and his friends too. More the merrier." Reno said. "See you when I get there."

(insert Divider Line)

Xander blinked as he finally woke up fully.

"Dad?"

His father stared at him wide-eyed with Xander's former Halloween prop pressed firmly against his throat, and him in turn against the wall across the room from the bed.

Xander stared as memories of another life flashed through his mind. Then he cocked his head to one side with a slight grin. "You know, you really shouldn't wake people up like that. But, I think we can forget it ever happened. As long as there's peace in the house. Right?"

His father slowly nodded.

"At least until I have the money to move out some day. Then you can do whatever you want."

"Can I go now?"

"Sure dad. I have to head over to Willow's after I take a shower. Then we'll go to school. Try to be sober enough to remember this conversation when I get home, will you?" Xander asked as he put his weapon to his shoulder and turned toward his dresser.

His father backed slowly out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Xander put the baton down and pressed his hands firmly against the dresser. "What the hell?" He asked as he stared wide-eyed at the wall.

Across town Larry blinked as he continued to stare at the costume. He'd woken up numerous times in the night after he got home. His memories of teaming up with Xander of all people, and of another life kept him up.

He shook his head. Might as well go to the school library. Everyone who apparently knew about the weird stuff he'd gotten shoved into the middle of was not only there last night, but they hung out there. Maybe he'd get some answers.

Then he paused. Maybe they needed an explosives expert.


End file.
